The perspective of everything changes as we move on from one step to the other. And so does what constitute happiness.Back in school days, my friend and I would spend our pocket allowance and share an ice cream or a plate of Momo (Yon ton or Dumpling) and then walk back from school and pretend that the pain on the feet was due to overexertion on the soccer field. Happiness then was to have enough money in our pockets to afford a plate for each in the gang and still be able to ride a bus home…happiness was about being able to fill another canvas with a composition that has yet to show that the lines between good and bad is often non-existent.
And with gradual changes in life the innocence got buried in the pursuit of more material things. Choosing an academic area that trains more than it educates became a priority. All that I wanted was to be able to work with consulting firms and be able to help clients strategize. It happened too. And then suddenly all I wanted was to create knowledge, be more daring without worrying about a boss, office politics, or a client. So here I am pursuing my PhD. But as I completed my first year in the program I realized that academia is not all about creating knowledge. The bosses are double blinded images. The clients are invisible reviewers and the knowledge is only good if it is on paper being approved often by the wisdom of the invisible boss and the anonymous clients. The matter of success is a toss of a coin.
As I walk towards my campus with the equal prospect of success and failure coupled with responsibilities of teaching, studying, writing and researching, all I do is dreaming about sharing a plate of dumpling like back in the days of school.